"Piles of Sheet"

Just when I thought I could get through the ongoing public silliness around the Gates project in Central Park, an event, a happening, causing so much pleasure and enjoyment in New York City, Jon Stewart's The Daily Show has uncorked me. But, fortunately for you readers, I don't need to make further comment because here is a transcription of part of the commentary. And, as long as it is available on the website, here is the link to view this segment in its entirety: http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/ds/videos.jhtml

Piles of Sheet

from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart 02/14/05

Jon Stewart (JS):
Welcome to the Daily Show. It's Monday and, as regular viewers know, we like to start off with the latest developments in conceptual art. If we have time, we'll get to the man spraying paint out of his ass, but first to Central Park and The Gates.....

(images of the Christo Gates in Central Park).......

Jon Stewart (JS):
Stephen, I can't help but wonder what does all this mean?

(Stephen Colbert, Senior Conceptual Art Correspondent, standing in front of the Gates)

Stephen Colbert (SC):
Simply put the Gates are a triumph , an artistic milestone, that may finally put New York City on the cultural map.... this may finally do for New York City what West Wing did for Washington... or what the band Asia did for that continent.

John, the Gates is a triumph of contemporary installation art. Each gate redefining its section of the park as not a public place for private reflection but a private place for public reflection. Juxtaposed with the barrenness of the midwinter, the gates posits a chromatic orgy. This riot of color achieves a rare redefamiliarization with the nature of place, time, the Whatness of our Whereness. No longer framed ...

I'm Sorry, I've run out of crap.....

JS:
Is this great art?

SC:
Yes, John, because like all great art it challenges what we thought we knew about the world.

For instance, I used to think 21 million dollars could be used to achieve something noble, like,... I don't know, --- building a hospital wing, but in this case the Gates has forced me to recontextualize my notion of what 21 million dollars can be used for.....

in this case, redecorate a bike path.

JS:
So you believe shrouding these walkways with orange curtains will somehow change our lives in New York?

SC:
Well it's happening already.

Just today, I saw an installation artist take a sandwich and wrap it in a paper-like substance,--- I don't know,--- almost waxy in texture. He kept wrapping -- I'm not doing this justice John, --- until he had visually achieved Not Sandwich. Then, --- this is the genius John,--- he cut it in 2 in a final act of Resandwichment.

JS:
So, --- you had lunch at a deli.

SC:
Okay fine. ---- I was in a (signalling quotation marks with his hands) "deli" ordering "lunch" if that is how you need to think of it, ----- "John".

Thanks to Karen for helping me with the transcription. Between my slow two-finger typing and laughing too much, I am not sure I could have gotten through it.